I was watching Oprah—well, not really. Her program comes on after the evening news and I had simply let the TV continue to run. Cynthia was asleep on the couch while I worked on my lap top. Oprah was running in the background. At one point it caught my attention, as some woman something-or-other was speaking about the need for husbands and wives to “connect” (or some-such-mush). Her suggestion? A ten-second-kiss. Not a peck; but a real, moment engulfing kiss. It got me to thinking.
Over four decades of married life Cynthia and I have had a habit of not allowing one of us to leave home without a kiss goodbye. We started the tradition, actually, before we married—but that’s another story.
But those who have been married for a while know it is easy to get into the “little peck” mode. It isn’t that we don’t love each other; we just have gotten used to the ritual and its sort of like a little-peck-will-do-ya effort. So…
I decided to take the lady’s advice. The next day I introduced my wife to our daily 10 Second Kiss ritual. I can say (gratefully) that it has been well received. After the first couple of times I didn’t have to count in my head any more to be sure we met our time requirement. And it is amazing how those extra seconds can focus you on the one who is in reality the other-half-of-you.
Since Paul exhorts husbands to “love your wives,” I decided I would be the one to take the initiative. I vary the timing so as not to allow this special moment to become encrusted with ritual. My only rule of thumb is that it is to take place after we are up and going in the morning and before we begin to retire in the evening. This helps to make it a memory that lasts through the day! I’m not going to beat myself up if I miss a day—neither will Cynthia, since I didn’t tell her I planned this as a daily thing (and since she does't read my blog or do facebook she won’t know about this unless some of you spill the beans). I’ll just be looking for a moment each day to make “special.”
Anyway, its something I’ll be recommending to married couples. In fact, I’ll be doing a wedding this weekend and plan to give the new husband some instructions along these lines while we await the ceremony. Of course, newlyweds don’t need too much encouragement in this area, but there’s really not that much to talk about in the “green room” just before the ceremony and maybe he’ll remember it in the years ahead. He’s a really neat, smart guy—marrying a beautiful, talented gal.
Try it; you’ll like it! By the way, Oprah’s response to the suggestion was something like, “Forget 10 seconds, how about the 27 second one!” Not a bad idea either!